Readership Response

Akiva G. Belk, Director

Subject: Links
Oct 1999

Dear Web Site Operator,

Shalom! We have reviewed your site, and we think it looks great.

We are J Q S, the premiere Jewish singlesí web site on the Internet, aimed at Jewish singles the world over. We would greatly appreciate being listed in your links section. If you would like a reciprocal link, please send us a short description of your site, for editorial review.

JQS also offers very exciting profit sharing affiliate programs. Should you wish to further discuss this opportunity, and obtain more detailed information, kindly contact our New York office.

We thank you for your time and consideration.

Shalom, and best wishes,

The JQS Team!


Dear Esti & JQS Team,
Thank you for your E-Mail and kind words. We would be happy to link to your web page under the following conditions:

1. That the organization posting the page is nonprofit and there is no cost to visitors (other than a possible membership fee). State to us in writing that you are either a nonprofit organization or that there are no charges to visitors of your website.

If you charge a fee for your services, sell products, etc. then it is necessary to become a commercial member of JewishPath. Commercial membership is $36.00 annually and only provides a link to your site... and no other services.

2. That you first link to index page only.

3. That you notify us once you have linked to our index page and inform us where on your web page the link is located. We will then review your web page to confirm the link. Once the link is confirmed, we will
reciprocate by linking to your page from our links page.

4. We at JewishPath are very high on morals and family values. We consider our site ìGî rated and as a result we will not link to any site publishing material deemed offensive by our readership or staff. As a
ìGî rated site, we will immediately remove any link after reviewing and determining inappropriate material without notice. Membership will be terminated without refund.

Thank you for contacting us!

All the best,

Rachel Gold

Subject:Sinking In Divorce!
Nov. 1999


Someone at work gave me this address, she said you have a support page where I can talk to people who have been through situations like mine. I am religious. When I was 21, I met my husband on a shidduch. I wasn't sure if I liked him but after much pressure I got engaged. Then, when I wanted to break off the engagement because he told me 10 days before the wedding that he had certain serious addictions, I was told by a Rabbi not to break it off and he would be fine after he was married.

Needless to say, I suffered 22 years of pure hell. He was never fine. He refused to work, he refused to help in the house, he even refused to learn. We went to many marriage counsilors, I kept thinking if I found the right one, things would be fine. No one could motivate him. At the last marriage counsiling session he admitted to enjoying hurting me in any way he could. The cousilor said I would be better off divorced. I filed for divorce.

My husband demanded I leave my apartment that I had bought with my mother's and brother's help and give him half the money if I wanted the "get". I did everything he asked for. I still do not have my "get" because the people who bought my apartment have not finished paying for it yet. The sad part is I worked so hard for so many years when my husband never worked and because he could hold the "get" over my head, he got everything he asked for.

I am stuck in a rented apartment trying to support my four children who are not yet married. He gives nothing for child support although in the agreement he was suppose to give $170 a month for the two youngest children.

The hardest part is not having my "get" yet and being rid of him and able to go on with my life. He destroyed 22 years of my life. I will never be able to forget how horrible and miserable he was to me. He had no desire to do anything in life, not work, not learn, his only desire was his addictions Nothing else matters to me now but getting that "get" and waiting for it is like waiting for messiah to come. I know it will eventually happen but it didn't happen today and I'm still in a bad situation because of a mean selfish person who has no appreciation for anything that I did for him.

All the best,


Shalom A,
Typically I am the one who responds to our E-Mail. All of us at JewishPath have regular employment, including Dr. Belk. He has so many functions at JewishPath that I usually refrain from asking him to answer any of the E-Mail himself. But your message was particularly heart-stirring and I asked Dr. Belk if he wanted to respond himself. He did. His response is below.

Wishing you much shalom,

Rachel Gold

Shalom A,

After reading your letter several times the neon lights of pain brightly flash the words resentment, anger, hatred and bitterness. All of these emotions are very normal for an individual who has suffered as you have. Unfortunately your suffering may not be over even though we at JewishPath truly hope that it is.

A, speaking from my own very private scare-filled experiences from a former marriage of nineteen years, waiting for conclusion is absolute hell! My former spouse was NOT Jewish. At the time I was just approaching the runway of shuvah. She became very angry at even my slight interest in Judaism. I was forced to leave my home with only the clothes on my back. My children were prevented from seeing me. I was locked out of the family business for a few weeks... I was precluded from company records for over three years even after the court ordered them returned. During this time the IRS sought legal action which I could not defend myself against becausemy former spouse, who was the former company bookkeeper, denied having these records and refused to testify in my behalf.

This does not even come close to the depth of deceptions, length of lies and carefully planned schemes that I faced over the next three years while attempting to free myself from that woman. Then after gaining my freedom like a leech in the dark or a viper, G-d forbid, she wouldnít let go. Time and time again she has surfaced like a vicious shark, G-d forbid.

There are several things I have found to be helpful:

1. Do not speak evil about the childrenís father. It simply will not make any POSITIVE DIFFERENCE and it will hurt the children even though they may never admit it. Do your best.

2. Change your focus from your very understandable need, ìthe Get,î to getting on with life as best as possible without it. You may never receive it but we believe you will, G-d willing!

A friend tells a beautiful story. One day while he and his wife were riding he noticed from the passenger side of the vehicle that the van was nearly out of gas. He suggested to his wife that she immediately find a gas station. His wife responded, ìRelax! From my view {as the driver} we
still have over a quarter tank of gas."

From your view you feel stuck, but are you really? No!

Honestly, I felt the same way as you do but eventually everything worked out. It did take a long time but it was for the very best. At the time it felt like I could not clean my hands of this personís filth. I just wanted to be rid of the stains of that horrible nonrelationship! I felt like time was passing by, that I was missing out on opportunities to remarry but G-d has a time. He will not be rushed and He will not be late!

Eventually everything worked out. It was not always to my pleasing but it worked out. Now, thank G-d, I have been happily remarried for years.

3. A, you sound like a very good person. Yet, that being the case, it would still be wise to accept your part in this mess. I have found that acknowledging ownership for oneís part helps to recover and move on. You are to be commended for your patient attempts to seek marriage counseling but so many counselors confuse the water.

4. Many times I have had my back to the wall. Hashem has always comforted me even in the deepest of troubled waters with Psalms like 20, 40, 91 and 121.

Wishing you the best,


Subject: Grasping For A Jewish Name!
Nov. 1999

To Whoever It May Concern:
I noticed this name below (Mammele) which is my name and I wondered why it was used and what it means in hebrew. It's so unusual to see it used and spelled the same way as I do. Please let me know. I am amazed, and whatever information you could provide me would be greatly appreciated.

EDITOR'S NOTE THE FOLLOWING IS A JOKE FROM OUR HUMOR PAGE, "RESTSTOP" entitled: "Two Shirts You Loose". This is where our reader found the word "Mammele."

Many non Jews {Christian Messianics} frequently look for some way to connect them to Judaism. If they have a Jewish first name, last name or both some then based on the name and nothing more consider themselves Jewish.

A Jewish mother is worrying day in and day out about her poor son, far away in a college: "Oivey, will he ever find a nice girl,... will he have enough to eat,...will he be cold at night?" While worrying she decides to, at least, buy and send him two warm flannel shirts. A couple of months later he travels back to New York and see his mother. After many hours in a bus he arrives erev shabbat at her door and thinks: "Wait, maybe I should wear one of the shirts she sent me! Sure this makes her happy!" He puts on the shirt, rings the door bell and his mother opens:



"Jankel, I am sooooo happy to see you! And you even wear one of the shirts I sent you!"
"But tell me one thing: You didn't like the other shirt?"

Dear Reader,
Mammele is a Yiddish term of affection / endearing term used for Mamma.

Rachel Gold

Nov. 1999

Subject: Need Assistance With A Hebrew Name
Jason wrote:

I am looking up my daughter's Hebrew name and it is not in here. It is Nechama Eliana. Can you help? Could you also tell me how to spell it with Hebrew letters please? Thank you in advance. Jason M.

Shalom Jason,
Thank you for your inquiry regarding your daughter's Hebrew name. We do provide these and other services for our membership which is presently our only means of support. For more information about membership If we cannot be of assistance we can recommend people who charge for their services.

Best regards,
Rachel Gold

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