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Essays are an extension of our parsha and Gematria studies classes which discuss specific subjects for the direction and upliftment of Kal Yisroel. This essay study is dedicated in the loving memory of Mr. Paul Sakash, may he rest in peace. If you would like to dedicate a parsha lesson, Gematria study or an essay discussion for our cyberspace class in the memory of a dear friend or loved one we will do this for a gift of Chai, $18.00 American dollars. Jewish intermarriage is when one of the partners in a marriage is not Jewish. Civil law recognizes this as a marriage. Most other religions also recognize this as a marriage. The term intermarriage is a conflict by definition. The Torah does not recognize civil or common law marriage as a union of two people if both partners are not Jewish. However many congregations allow the non Jewish spouse to be an active member of their respective congregations. On the other hand, most congregations will not give an Aliyah (a call to read from the Torah) if both partners are not Jewish.  Walk through your home, reconnect with the special memories framed on the walls, the bookshelves, the desks and dressers. If intermarriage conflict erupts it might not be long until those memories once shared, as very special, are gathering dust in storage. For awhile the pictures linger in hopes of reconciliation. Slowly, as those once precious memories transform into painful reminders, family pictures give way to pictures with someone missing. It is very difficult for the children with Mommy or Daddy missing... The JewishPath is an information service. (JewishPath is not a counseling service!) Our staff is made up of Jewish laypeople (NO RABBIUM). Most of our staff are degreed professionals with majors in the fields of social work and theology. Some of our staff have served as former religious leaders such as pastor or teacher. The JewishPath is unaffiliated with any branch of Judaism. We are Jewish. (We are not messianic!) The information we offer comes from our own experiences as Jews who returned to Judaism, who had intermarried before our return and who had observed other religions before returning to Judaism. Our experience often allows us to identify with both partners of an intermarriage relationship. Our interests are to be sensitive to BOTH PARTNERS AND THEIR CHILDREN during this time of discovery and decision. We really understand what is at stake! We are in the process of developing this SIGHT! Certain areas are not complet yet... I AM INTERMARRIED... WHAT SHOULD I DO? For a minute let's go on beyond this question to ask another question that is easier to answer: What shouldn't I do? If we list the things that we clearly know we shouldn't do that will form a frame like the edges of a puzzle to begin discovering what we should do. We will start from the edges of the puzzle working towards the center instead of beginning with the bull's eye (Jewish intermarriage) and working out. Our approach to Jewish Intermarriage is Understanding - Discovery - Decisions. We accomplish this through a partnership agreement, learning gates and dedicated effort. Prior to beginning, here are five helpful disciplines: Instant success is unreasonable! Blame nothing..Blame no one! Read the instructions...this time! Commitment! Perseverance! Reviewing and understanding the problem can help provide solutions. Now let's begin on the edges of the problem with a story I tell children to help them understand why Jewish intermarriage is not good. This story is about Charlie... Go to The Story of Charlie
Most branches of Judaism and most rabbium will not participate in an intermarriage ceremony. They highly discourage intermarriage. Often the door to marriage is also closed by the priest or pastor of the non Jewish partner. Most pastors also highly discourage intermarriage. If one partner is Catholic, a priest may consider performing the marriage if the Jewish partner will agree in writing that the children from their union will be raised as Catholic. The first sign of trouble is finding someone to preform the marriage. Often this leaves most intermarriages to the offication by the Justice of the Peace Not every intermarriage follows the pattern. There are other templates of Jewish intermarriage. For example: Because of anti-semitism some parents hide their Jewish identity from their children. Their children intermarry then find our they are Jewish. An adopted child is raised in the religion of his / her foster parents and marries according to their set of beliefs, then learns that his / her maternal parents are Jewish. A child is raised without Jewish values including mixed marriage. Later as an adult this individual begins a pursuit of Jewish values. These same types of templates also happen with the non Jewish spouse.
Whatever the scenario the partners of an intermarriage could be doomed! DIVORCE could be just around the corner or decades away. Make no mistake, it is there waiting like a coiled rattler for its prey.
Somewhere along the path is a rabbi, a priest, a pastor or a friend who will make a direct hit with one partner of the intermarriage. A direct hit is when one partner from an intermarriage starts on the path of religious observance. Usually within several years this marriage will crash and burn like a distraught plane. Survivors are few!
Much needs to be understood by each partner during this period of discovery and decision. The period of discovery and decision begins when one partner in an intermarriage starts on the path to religious observance. The period of discovery and decision ends when one partner converts, when one partner sues for divorce or when both partners reconcile that their marriage is more important than their individual beliefs.
Having a set of opperating principles often helps prevent exclation of sensitive areas. Intermarriage conflict is a maze at best and a dangerous mine field at worst. When used properly with professional marriage guidance counselors our guidelines can help. JewishPath is a sponsor of B'nai Noach Torah Institute. As a sponsor we are permitted to offer one FREE E-Mail course on a limited basis per individual from BNTI's Introduction Courses. We invite you to visit and choose an E - Mail Intro Course. BNTI offers Intro Courses in Judaism and Spirituality {7 Noaich Laws}. BNTI Responses are NOT AUTO!!
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