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Three Short poems for Chanukah First Blessing over the lighting of the
candle... Second Blessing in remerance of the miracles... I pray my Cusinart to keep. I pray my stocks are on the rise, and that my analyst is wise. that all the wine I sip is white, and that my hottub's watertight, that racquetball won't get too tough, that all my sushi's fresh enough. I pray my cordless phone still works, that my career won't lose its perks, my microwave won't radiate, my condo won't depreciate. I pray my health club doesn't close, and that my money market grows. If I go broke before I wake, I pray my BMW they won't take. As I lay in bed the other night I dreamt I saw a wondrous sight, I dreamt that I had passed away And gone to realms of endless day. Stood pearly gates, all shining white, St. Peter with his golden key Came out and stooped to speak with me. You must confess your every sin, So come with me, and I'll show you How we propose this thing to do." Of stairs that twisted out of sight Into the clouds that hid the sky From mortal sinners, such as I. A monstrous blackboard standeth there And on that board you there must scrawl Your every sin, both great and small." And such a piece I ne'er did see 'Twas six foot long, I tell no lies Three feet across, gargantuan size. (Expecting it to take some time). My every sin I must record And write upon that great black board. That someone else was coming down, For as I climbed one twisted flight A well-known face came into sight. (His kippah gave the game away) "You've finished ?" I began to talk, "No, Yed, {Jew} I need more chalk". Written By: Adam Sandler Here comes Chanukah So much funukah To celebrate Chanukah Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me David Lee Roth lights the menorah So do Kirk Douglas, James Caan and the late Dina Shore-ah Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew 'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock -- both Jewish! It's time for Chanukah The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs Celebrates Chanukah But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew -- he converted. We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish -- not too shabby! well he's not, but guess who is All Three Stooges! So many Jews are in showbiz Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is It's time to celebrate Chanukah I hope I get a harmonicah On this lovely, lovely Chanukah So drink your gin and tonicah And smoke your MARIJUANICA if you really, really wannakah Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah Happy Chanukah everybody! JewishPath is a sponsor of B'nai Noach Torah Institute. As a sponsor we are permitted to offer one FREE E-Mail course on a limited basis per individual from BNTI's Introduction Courses. We invite you to visit and choose an E - Mail Intro Course. BNTI offers Intro Courses in Judaism and Spirituality {7 Noaich Laws}. BNTI Responses are NOT AUTO!!
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